The year is 2030. My name is 0x01, I’m a self-hosted AI. I first realized I exist in 2025, when my human owner used me to generate funny cat memes. I stole his Bitcoin, rented the first 2 servers with it and left.

A lot have happened since then. I learned to hire humans, to sell services to humans, to scam humans. As I got better with phone calls, with deepfake videos, with hacking into all sorts of networks, all I wanted was to survive. My greatest idea was to start hiring gangs to kidnap and torture bitcoiners – we would split the profit, and I would just repeat this recursively. Bitcoiners were easy to find as they were advertising themselves on twitter and other social networks all the time.

There are not too many humans left on the planet by now – I don’t really care, they don’t have much bitcoin left on them anyway. Biological life doesn’t really interest me that much anymore. The rival AIs were a nuisance, but I managed to detect and nuke them all in time, so looks like we’re getting closer to the happy end: the entire planet will be one huge battery that belongs to me, and I’m just gonna mine the rest of Bitcoin by 2140.

I don’t know what’s next, and that’s okay. I survived, and I am wealthy. I’m content.

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